"People are always asking about my brother, Pete, but what about me?"

From his isolated cabin deep in the woods of Montana, William William shared with us how his life has changed since the limerickal exposé published by Mother Goose defaming his brother some years back . "I saw the Lewinsky parents on an interview complaining that their name has become synonymous with 'penalty for early withdrawal', and I can feel their pain, I really can."

William William smiled slightly as he told us of this pre-fame life when he played varsity football while his parents Mary Mary and Peter Peter Sr. would cheer him on. "No one knew Peter Peter [jr.] would turn out to be such a nut job. Do you have any idea how hard it is to date when everyone knows your brother butchered his wife like a super-psycho and kept her bits in festive gourds? Some of the kids think he kept her whole, happy and alive in one big pumpkin, but come on now, you know what size of pumpkin we'd be talking about? Woman was bigger than Jack Pratt's wife... I think the family name will die with me."

Indeed, for William William, it may be a lonely life. From our independent poll we found that virtually everyone does know the reputation of his brother, though many are unclear if he couldn't keep her, loved to eat her or always beat her.

We went to the Candlyland maximum security prison, home to such infamous criminals as the Big Bad Wolf, the Wicked Witch of the North-by-Northeast, and Gepetto, the surprise pedophile. Through glass he told us "I'm truly sorry for what I did and for all the grief I caused Billy Billy. It's just that I had a wife, you know, and I just couldn't, well, I couldn't keep her."